


The Major Arcana

by princessdi



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst and Drama, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Cheating, Cold War, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Female-Centric, Heavy Angst, Historical Accuracy, Historical Hetalia, Historical References, Hungary-centric, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Mentioned Germany (Hetalia), Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Divorce, Post-World War II, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Power Play, Relationship Study, Sad with a Happy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22765675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessdi/pseuds/princessdi
Summary: Erzsébet has seen the rise and fall of six empires - Spain, France, Britain, Austria, Prussia, and Russia - intimately, often at detrimental costs to herself and creating a wariness within her towards a quest for limitless power. Seeing the highest and lowest points for each, she understands the character of each man and, in the end, what she desires most for herself.
Relationships: Austria & Hungary (Hetalia), Austria/Hungary (Hetalia), Austria/Spain (Hetalia), England & Hungary (Hetalia), Hungary & France (Hetalia), Hungary & Russia (Hetalia), Hungary & Spain (Hetalia), Hungary/Prussia (Hetalia)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23





	1. The Sun

_Vienna, 1689._

Spain had been the first.

Well, really Turkey had been the first, but Hungary refused to remember her time under the Ottomans. It's where it all began, her fascination with the horrible thing's states would do to keep and maintain any grip on their power. It's where this experiment began and where she found the roots of her discontent for those who elevated themselves beyond gods.

But Spain was the first, the first she was able to watch in action so intimately. In the 1530s, he had plenty of reason to frequent Vienna. He was married to Austria and came often to denounce the heretics in England, to proclaim further French treachery, or to brag about his latest conquest in the New World. Hungary always hovered behind the door while he regaled Austria with these stories. She understood that, being recently freed from the Ottomans and taken by rightful conquest, she was the most junior member. Under Ottoman rule, she'd quickly understood a lot about how the powerful view her place.

On this particular visit, Antonio was exuberant. More gold had been discovered somewhere far away, in a land with a name that tasted too foreign on Erzsébet's tongue. Joyful laughter filled the room. She peered around the door frame, catching the two men in an embrace. "Ah, Toni, you're incredible!" She'd never heard Roderich's voice filled with such glee. "You were away for five months and already you found more? You're incredible, you have a supernatural ability for this."

"It's like they say, God blesses us with what we need. Which is why God blessed me with you, _mi amor."_ Antonio leaned in for a kiss before suddenly halting. His eyes met Erzsébet's, who froze with dread. A wide smile cracked across his face. "Ah, it seems we have a visitor! Come in, I don't think I've met you yet!"

Compelled, she shuffled into the room. "We have before, but I don't take offense, I understand that you're busy." She performed a little curtesy, a move she still found strange no matter how much she practiced. "I'm Hungary and I apologize for my rudeness. My curiosity got the better of me." She directed her apology more towards Austria. He was looking at her with an intensity she mistook for infatuation when, in reality, it was derision.

"Don't apologize! It's exciting times we live in, yes? We should all take an interest in what's happening. The world is expanding after all!" He spoke with such genuine warmth, it moved Hungary. He had a quiet magnetism that drew her in, much different than all the other people she'd been around. She never wanted him to leave or stop speaking. "Do you have any opinion on-?"

There was that name again. That damn name that didn't sound like any known language. Still, this was her moment. Hungary wanted to impress, to show that she was a worthwhile nation to such a powerful presence. "Burn the heretics?" It was a line she'd heard before from them so it had to be the right answer.

It did the trick. Spain broke into an easy laugh, smiling at her approvingly. "Smart girl, you understand it. Some people want to go soft on them and for what?" His cheery demeanor slipped away into a more somber tone. "I'm bringing them the gift of God and civilization. If they reject it, what mercy should we show them? The fires of the earth will purify them before they can face the eternal flames of Hell."

"You really mustn't trouble yourself with such matters. You can't save everyone." Austria sounded bored, as if he'd heard these concerns many times and found them tedious. He kissed Spain on the cheek. "There's some work I need to attend to. Please stop by before you leave. I have something I wish to send you off with."

A knowing look quickly passed between them before it was gone, disappearing on Austria's coattails as he exited the room. Hungary took that as her cue. She gave another little curtesy before heading out. Suddenly she felt a firm grasp on her wrist. "You don't have to hurry so soon. I promise, you won't get in trouble." She looked back and met Spain's eyes, swirling with indecipherable emotions. "I make it a habit of talking to the people I meet."

He had a disarming quality to him. Where Erzsébet would've typically felt nervous at such an action, he made her feel accepted and her presence desired. She blushed and cast her gaze to the floor. "As you wish."

He released her, taking a seat at one of the chairs and gesturing for her to do the same. Once she complied, he began speaking. "You didn't always live here, where did you come from?"

She resisted the urge to say Budapest, to say the rolling hills of Hungary, knowing that if she said such a thing to Sadiq or Roderich it would earn her a rebuke. Besides, she knew what he was really asking. "Austria freed my lands and me from Ottoman rule around five years ago."

A knowing smile. "That explains why you're so nervous. You have no reason to be, you're among friends now. That's reason to smile, to sit up straight, and have pride in yourself!" Spain's voice grew louder as he spoke in his excitement. "Those damn Moors are a menace to be rid of too. I recently kicked them out of my lands and, let me tell you, that was certainly a project."

Hungary's hands began fidgeting with the fabric of her dress, clumping it into balls in her hands. "I would have more pride if I had been able to free myself. I used to be much stronger." She sighed longingly, remembering her childhood. She had been a terror, running around and getting into fights with whoever dared to look at her the wrong way. She rarely lost back then.

"Don't be! There's no shame in needing assistance. What good would empire be if we didn't help the smallest among us shake off their chains?" Something flashed across his face. Hungary struggled to define it. It was much different than his jovial act prior. It was much more fearsome, much more frightening. "We all benefit from it. You get to be freed of such tyranny and we get to help you step into the role of a proper civilized state. Who doesn't win in that?"

Despite her momentary misgivings, her heart soared. She couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face. "So that means I'll eventually become independent? Oh, thank you! I've missed that for so long, how good it'll be to work in sync with my people again!"

Unable to stop herself from speaking, Hungary watched as Spain's demeanor shifted. He grew stiff and formed a hardened look in his eyes. "Independence, huh? Now isn't that a concept." He laughed, but there was no joy to the action.

"Did I misunderstand? It sounded like you would help me become independent again."

"To help you do that, I would be going against Roderich." Spain's voice grew stern, like that of a parent lecturing a child slow to understand why their behavior was wrong. His eyes grew so cold she shivered. "To conspire against my husband would be a sin before God and all the world. A spouse is meant to work in harmony with their husband, to do nothing to undermine their authority. Someday you will understand this and not ask for the impossible."

She'd heard words like this before. The tone, the look, the condescension. It all was the same. Why had she allowed herself to be fooled by a man who pretended to be warmer than the sun? Who pretended he had compassion and care for those beneath him? Because he met her eyes and returned her shy smile? That only made the treachery of his true character sting worse. Her mouth dried up, but she forced herself to choke out some words. "My apologies. I suppose I forgot myself." Her voice was devoid of emotion. It had to be otherwise he would feel her rage.

"I suppose you did." Spain smiled, cocking his head to the side. He reminded Hungary of a cat, lazily playing with its prey. "We all have our place in the world. We can't change God's plan for us, but we can accept it and live up to it to the best of our ability." She found herself developing a distaste for cats. "Fighting against it is an exercise in futility, is it not?"

"Perhaps, but it builds up character." Her legs suddenly forced her to rise, anger pounding hot through her veins. "I would recommend it. It helps you learn the true caliber of a person."

"Mm, for someone so willing to suggest it, you sound a lot like the heretics you wish for me to burn. Of course, I would never do such a thing, but it's advisable that you remember who you're talking to now that you're among the best of us. We have a long memory." His eyes begged her to go on, to dig her grave faster. She refused to be baited further, to give into his notion of what she was. He sighed dramatically. "I have to tell Roderich to stop bringing these barbarians home when he goes campaigning east. You people are so much trouble."

Hungary bit down on her tongue. She imagined Austria would be informed of her behavior, that she would be punished for her blatant disrespect. She would not worsen the situation for herself, no matter how much she longed to lash out, to remind this snake what she was really capable of. Instead, she forced on a smile that she knew looked deranged. The idea of herself appearing crazed to a man who tried so hard to appear so decent filled her with some twisted satisfaction. "I'll take my leave now."

No curtesy. She turned on her heel and hustled off, cursing him violently in her head. "I'll remember you, Hungary." His voice carried after her heels. She knew it was meant to be a threat, but she took it as a promise.

"Damn right you'll remember me," she whispered to everyone and no one.


	2. Sundown

_Vienna, 1748._

Hungary hummed to herself, absentmindedly walking throughout her home. There was business she had to attend to, but she'd convinced herself such matters could be put off till later. Not like anyone was waiting with bated breath for her decisions, the important stuff always went to Austria instead. While in her thoughts, she noticed a streak of red out of the corner of her eye. She stopped abruptly. "Spain? What are you doing here? It's a long way from Madrid."

He rose from his seat, his perpetual smile on his face. "Ah, Erzsébet! How nice to see you!" He made his way over to her and politely kissed her hand. "How are you faring? I hope things are well in your slice of the world."

She withdrew her hand back close to her. Spain was nice enough, but she'd seen him at the height of his power. She'd heard how willingly he slaughtered to further his goal, claiming divine right to decide who lived and died. Nor could she ever forget how callous he was to supposed lesser beings like herself. There were some things you couldn't forget. Hungary forced her most polite smile. "We've never been better." She assumed he didn't know how many of her men had died recently from the wars against Prussia or, if he did, she assumed he didn't care. "What brings you to Vienna? I would think you've got more important matters than dealing with us."

"Roderich and I had a…renegotiation of our Italian child custody agreement. I'm doing my part to see that he honors it instead of trying to keep me away from Romano again." He waved the thought away. "Which he will. I don't think he wants to keep fighting over it."

"That makes as much sense as anything. Well, I hope you won't be held up too long. I'll be seeing you." She turned, trying to make her escape, but found one of her wrists ensnared in his grasp. Frustration began prickling at her. Why was he so obtuse? They had never been on friendly relations, why the desperation to talk to her? "What is it, Antonio? I have work to do."

Her frustration refused to faze him. Instead, he laughed warmly at it. "You've always been such a hot head, it's really funny. Do you not have enough time to humor me? I promise I won't take too much of your time if you let such an old man have some amusement."

"You're not much older than me." Regardless of her minor protestation, she sat down. Erzsébet appraised him, searching for any sign that she should begin preparing for an attack. She found none, only discovering a quiet earnestness burning within him. Some of her tension slipped away. "What exactly do you want to monologue about?"

Antonio chuckled. "You really don't suffer any fools, though I wish I wasn't so often a fool to you." He leaned back in his chair, growing comfortable. "Power's a really strange thing. Would you believe I get carried away easily? I've begun realizing that and, if it didn't mean I'd hurt so many, it would be funny in an ironic way." He paused, considering something that came to mind. "Have you noticed that England and France behave differently now?"

"I barely see them, I wouldn't know. You deal with them more than I do." Erzsébet sighed, not knowing what this had to do with anything.

"They have. The two of them used to listen to me, now they don't care what I have to say." He laughed with a bitterness that seemed foreign to him. "When everything revolved around you for so long, it hurts to see that the world keeps spinning without you and finds a new axis. Meanwhile, the new axes are drunk on their own importance." He fiddled with one of the rings on his finger, appearing to be deeply troubled. "Do you understand what it's like to no longer feel in complete control of your destiny?"

She exhaled loudly through her mouth, trying to release the fury such a question brought forth. "I guess I don't. Maybe you can enlighten me?"

That snapped him back to reality. Antonio blinked a few times, staring at her in shock before smiling sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I forgot myself. You probably understand better than anyone. That's likely why I'm telling you all this." He bit his lip, fiddling further with his ring. "These are confusing times for me. I'm an empire in name only. I can't influence anything like I used to."

The self-pity was grating on her nerves. "Have you considered that that's a good thing?"

The suggestion took the wind out of him. He sat there, frozen and thinking the idea over. "No, I guess not." He went back to his thoughts, nodding along to whatever was unfolding in his mind. "There's less of a haze when I'm interacting with other nations. For example, I don't look at you and think how easy it would be to crush your spirit to the point where the only thing you can say is my name to beg for forgiveness. I used to think about that a lot with everyone, wanting them to view me as having the righteousness of God in my actions."

"You looked at me and thought what!" Hungary stammered, trying in vain to collect her thoughts. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He ignored her outrage. He was on a roll, connecting the dots. "Maybe I'm not in control of the world, but I do feel more in control of my actions. There's less of a mental fog." He laughed at the memory of himself. "I was so ferocious, it made it hard to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. It's so much easier to sit around and have a good time like this. Thank you, Erzsébet. You really helped put things into perspective for me."

Antonio rose, grinning at her as he exited the room to head where God only knew. Erzsébet watched him, trying to make sense of what all happened. She was still hung up on the fact that he fantasized about conquering her whenever he saw her. She hugged her arms tightly around herself, deep disgust settling in over her. What absolute madness, all of it. What a corrosive force such unbridled power could be, to completely have a seemingly intelligent person lose their senses like that. And so many of her fellow nations chased it so desperately? How pathetic, how worrisome.

But what could she do? Spain was vile - maybe not now, but he sure was for many years - and hearing how he truly thought had made her feel covered in filth. She shivered, the fierceness in his eyes she'd seen so often haunting her. "I need a long bath," Hungary promised herself. It would be the only way to clean herself of his lechery.


	3. The Lover

_Vienna, 1693._

_"Mon Dieu!_ Why do you resist so much?" France's exasperated yelling could be heard from the hallway. "Why do you care about Spain so much, what's the point in keeping him around? He's virtually useless now!"

"Perhaps because, unlike _some_ of us in this room, I don't lack a concept of a thing such as loyalty! Why are you here? Don't you have another gaudy palace to construct?" Austria shot back. His face was red from the screaming they'd been doing.

Hungary sat on the couch, watching them. She shook her head and tried in vain to return to her book. If they kept this up, they would lose their voices completely. They'd already carried on for the past two hours.

"Is this really what you want to go to war over? What good has he done you recently?" France had switched to pleading, trying a softer approach. "To have your territory spread out in such a way, it makes no sense. If I have Spain then I can take better care of him than you ever could. _L'Autriche,_ I'm doing you a favor!" He clasped Austria's shoulder in his hand, smiling with hostility.

Austria shrugged him off, stiffening his back upright. "I reject your rather crass insinuation, _Frankreich._ You would be well-advised to mind your manners in my home. I don't care how important you think you are; you will respect me."

"Then perhaps we can make a deal? You give me something I want in return for propping up your precious husband."

"What could the man who has everything possibly want from me?" Austria rubbed the bridge of his nose. Dealing with France was always an exercise in patience and futility.

"Nothing, but it's important to make you pay." Francis' eyes traveled the room. Eventually they settled on their silent observer. He licked his lips. "Oh, Hungary. I had no idea you were here." He glided over, bowing theatrically before her. "I hope I didn't offend such a resplendent woman."

Nauseating. Hungary and Austria shared a look of mutual contempt for the man. "No offense taken. Please don't mind me." She attempted to go back to her book. She could feel him still staring at her with such intensity. Irritation prickled at her skin. She huffed and looked back up at him. "Can I help you?"

A sudden realization overtook Austria. His fury increased tenfold. "Absolutely not, you bastard! You ask for too much!"

Ignoring him, France suddenly took Hungary's hand and gave it the most gentle of kisses. He gazed up at her from behind his eyelashes, a slight smile dancing on his lips. "I never noticed it before, but your eyes shine wonderfully in the light. Like two glistening emeralds. I don't believe I've ever encountered a more beautiful woman, and one who glows outwardly with such confidence." In a fluid motion, he sat down beside her, a hand resting gently on her knee. "I could show you wonders beyond your wildest dreams, show you the best and brightest the world has to offer."

Erzsébet inched away from him, finding herself trapped between him and the arm of the chair. She began trying to formulate an escape. "You're too kind. Paris is too far from Budapest; I would never wish to be that far from my people." She laughed, nervous from him being too close. "Choosing between the two of you isn't much choice at all, is it?"

Francis' eyes hardened. His blue eyes crashed into hers, becoming steely. The smile never left his face. "Interesting you'd resist so much. Would you care to help me? Are these rumors of dalliances with Gilbert true? It seems odd that a woman who so freely brings various men to her bed would put up such resistance."

Erzsébet looked at Roderich, silently begging for him to intercede. He remained in his spot, watching them. His arms folded over his chest and shrugged, communicating that he believed Francis had a fair point. She was isolated. "You give too much credence to rumors. There is nothing between us. Gilbert and I are only good friends." She snuck one arm behind her, grasping around for something, _anything,_ to force him away from her.

"Mm, I'm sure." He rolled his eyes, stifling a laugh in disbelief. "Regardless, I'm sure you can be persuaded. I know what a woman wants, I know her desires. You will find I’m incomparable to any man be-" he yelped, letting out a loud string of expletives. Hungary removed the letter opener she had thrusted into his side as he leapt away from her. "You whore! Why would you do such a thing?"

"Why would you find it appropriate to invade a lady's space and insinuate all sorts of horrible things before her, her-" she stumbled, unsure what exactly to consider Austria. Their relationship status confused her. "-her Roderich!" That would suffice.

France trembled in pain and fury. He glared between Austria and Hungary, unsure of who to unleash his wrath upon. He winced, feeling the wound throb. They could wait, dealing with the hole in his gut would take priority. "Fine then! Have it your way, we'll settle this on the battlefield."

Once Francis had hurried out, Erzsébet turned her ire on Roderich, who now sat at his desk. "What's your problem? Did you not care about what he was doing?" She strode over to him, leaning down so she obstructed his view of his papers. "Were you really going to only stand there and watch?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I saw nothing." Ignoring her, Roderich scribbled out a few letters. "And if I had, perhaps he brings up a good point. Sleeping around with some backwoods upstart certainly can run you into trouble with others. More tact would be advisable."

"You would really feed me to the lions simply because of conjecture? I've been completely faithful to you ever since you dragged me to this hellhole! Whatever may have happened when we were kids is none of your concern!" This was ridiculous. She couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. "That doesn't matter anyways because you're married to Antonio! Why expect me to be playing the faithful maiden when you have a different set of rules!"

"Forget what I said to Francis, the marriage is imploding. Charles is the worst thing to have happened to us. That's not important though. I'm more concerned with elevating your status than maintaining Antonio's place besides me. Which is why this matters, I can't have you undermining the whole plan before it happens." Roderich looked up at her, meeting her gaze with a disapproving look. "If you're out whoring yourself to a country bumkin then I already look weak. I would recommend that you cease undermining me in such a way."

Erzsébet was livid. Disgust filled her down to her very core. "You're not listening to me at all! I've shrugged him off every chance I could've taken - and believe me there were plenty!" He gave her a look filled to the brim with such disbelief. Her blood boiled. A twisted laugh bubbled from her lips. "My god, you're all the same. You'll believe Francis over me despite anything I say to the contrary? Fine, then. Have it your way, Roderich." She knocked over his inkwell and began storming out the room.

"Get back here and clean this mess up at once! Where do you think you're going!"

"Berlin. I apparently have some unfinished business to attend to." A devilish smile danced across her lips. Two could play at this game.


	4. Broken

_Paris, 1871_

The wind whipped around Erzsébet, causing a chill to be sent down her spine. She gazed out over the Seine, taking the whole city in. Despite being invaded so recently, nothing appeared to have changed. Life continued on as it always had. If she didn't know any better, she would assume there had been no seismic shift in European power politics.

But she did. There was a reason she was here and she was determined to wait for it. "Erzsébet, you come here too late. He already left." France appeared by her side, leaning over the rail protecting passersby from the jaws of the river. "You missed the _lovely_ party they threw in Versailles."

"I didn't come here to see him gloat." She turned her head towards him. "I wanted to see how everything held up. My curiosity got the better of me."

"Well, I'm afraid you've stumbled on a rather disappointing sight. Paris still stands as beautiful and glorious as ever." An electricity still ran through him, she could sense it beneath the surface. "As do we who call it home. This is a minor hiccup. I will be on my feet again before you know it." He attempted to sound strong but couldn't help the defeat from seeping into his voice.

"It doesn't seem so minor."

France's jaw clenched. He turned his attention to the flood of the river below. "I suppose it doesn't to an outsider. We have been through worse and come back stronger each time. I can't dare to think that this will be permanent, that I will never recover." His eyes met hers, the blue of them swirling as violently as the Seine. "My hope is all I have left for better days. You understand that, don't you?"

"I do." Hungary's heart lurched. This was another man she'd never been fond of. He was too proud, too arrogant, too convinced in his belief that the world belong to him and him alone. How could he handle an existence where he played second fiddle? Where the world didn't stop what it was doing to listen to him? He disgusted her, but she found herself pitying him.

"You seem somber. I would expect you to be celebrating. Is there something troubling you, _Hongrie?"_ The wind howled. France pulled his coat tight around him. "The winter is awful. There's a café up nearby where we can stay warm. Come along."

They walked in silence as Hungary collected her thoughts. She wanted to celebrate, she really did. How exciting was it that France got his comeuppance and it wasn't delivered by England? Especially when it was delivered by Gilbert, _her_ Gilbert. Why then couldn't she force herself to smile in the face of an old enemy's unprecedented loss? She sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you be crushed. But this all feels so drastic, so sudden. It seems like an aberration."

"It _is_ an aberration. He should never have been allowed to grow this powerful. Arthur's balance of power seems to be nothing more than a fallacy." His bitterness shouldn't have surprised her, but it did. He cleared his throat, forcing himself into his normal demeanor. "Do you really find it that hard to play the role of a supportive lover?" France was less taunting and more bemused. "Relishing the achievements of those you love doesn't make you inferior."

Regardless, she bristled at his suggestion. "I find it difficult to be supportive when he undertakes actions that are so disruptive to everything we've ever known. Everything surrounding this feels unnatural. I'm worried." She kicked a pebble standing in her way. "You're probably not the best person to talk this over with."

_"Non,_ don't feel bad. I understand. After all of you exiled Napoleon, I realized I had a lot of thinking to do. Even during the Revolution, when it seemed like I was becoming a better person, I wasn't living up to my own standards." He sighed wistfully. "I had - and I still am, don't misunderstand me - been so focused primarily on defeating _Angleterre_ at any cost and proving myself his superior that I became blind to my own excesses."

"Ah, so you actually admit to how horrible you were?" Erzsébet chuckled. "Now you understand we all weren't exaggerating it."

"You were right to mistrust me. Arthur, Gilbert, and Roderich only loathe me because we're all reflections of each other just in different colors." He paused for a moment, considering his own allegory. "Though, I suppose Britain and I's flags are the same. No matter, perhaps in another life we would've been able to get along. Alas, that's not our hand and I've wasted too much of my time thinking of other universes." He smiled wistfully. "What a blessing mortality would be."

There was something Hungary could agree with. "You four might have been more likeable for longer. You guys were tolerable when none of you thought you were better than me." She paused, chuckling softly. "And when we were children, none of you were so bloodthirsty."

"No, back then you were the little warrior." Francis held open the door for her. They both were grateful for the warmth of the café and to be shielded from the vicious winds of the river. "It was us who had to fear you. Face it, Erzsi, we're all the same. Everything is copy."

She frowned, fiddling with the sleeves of her jacket. There was a grain of truth to that. While she would never consider her younger self to be an empire, she did wreck plenty of havoc against those who foolishly opposed her. She understood how the sword could taunt one with promises to purify. The childlike cruelty she offered in mowing down grown men and women and the glee she found in their tormented screams horrified her now. It was barbaric. "It pains me to say this, but you might have a point. Our kind is cursed."

"Cursed. How melodramatic. It's an apt description of it." France nodded approvingly, leaning back in his chair. "We really do lead a wretched existence. There's too many of us on this damn continent, clawing for the same throne." He chuckled, getting lost in his thoughts. "How do you think you would rule?"

Hungary paused, considering the question. Conflicting emotions swirled within her. Didn't everyone want to view themselves as a benevolent king who treated their subjects with compassionate understanding? How many of those kings were truly tyrants in sheep's clothing? She was self-aware, she understood the darkness within her. Why would she be better than France and Spain and England and Austria and, now, Prussia? The only difference is that the world would know Hungarian, would now curse her as ruler in her own tongue instead of spitting foreign words at her. She gazed out the window, watching the Parisians hustle through the streets. How clueless they all were. But they were free, freer than her.

"I don't want what you have or had. I want to be left alone. That's all I've ever wanted." The acknowledgement filled her with power and hope for the future. Independence, that ever-elusive goal.

"Left alone, eh? Let me help you fulfill that wish." Smiling warmly, France flicked his wrist to bid her away. "Run along. There’s nothing else for you to see. I’m sorry you didn’t get a better show.”

She rose, opening her mouth to speak before closing it. Instead, she smiled and nodded her head at him. “Thank you, Francis. Till we meet again.”


	5. The Magician

_Vienna, 1815._

"You two are really going to bring us into another war?" Hungary was exasperated. They had so recently finished the last one. Defeating Napoleon was no easy task and required the blood of many of her men. She couldn't believe such sacrifice was unacknowledged by Britain and Austria.

"There's only a war if Russia and Prussia _want_ there to be one." Britain straightened his back and focused his eyes on her. "Believe you me, I want nothing more than to avoid another fight. If those two brutes are looking for one then it's up to us gentlemen to put an end to it."

Austria crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes into a glare. "Perhaps you could engage in some of your diplomacy with Prussia to convince him otherwise. Make your relations with him useful for a change."

"Do you really want to go there? You're no better, just last week I heard about-"

Britain held up a hand, cutting her off before this could escalate further. "Please, both of you spare me. I refuse to continue to play spectator to…whatever it is you three have going on. It brings out in the worst in all of you." Sufficiently embarrassed, Austria and Hungary turned their attentions away from each other. "Thank you. Though, maybe Roderich has a point. Sleeping with the enemy might get us something here."

Erzsébet stiffened up, balling her hands into fists at her sides. "I refuse to cheapen myself like that! I'm not going to Berlin to throw myself at him to take his mind off Saxony! I have more self-worth than that!"

Roderich rolled his eyes, outwardly showing his disbelief at that notion. Arthur, on the other hand, was in a place of deep thought. "Very true. It's not proper of us to try to force you into such a position. My apologies." He snapped his fingers, an idea coming to mind. "In that case, I'll stop over there before I head home. Should only be a minor detour. You have to be the change you want to see in the world and all that nonsense." He looked between their shocked expressions. "Something the matter?"

"Why does everyone want to-!" Roderich caught himself after he realized he was yelling. After taking a few calming breaths, he forced a smile. "I'm going to fix myself a drink. Do either of you want one?" Without waiting for an answer, he began pouring three glasses of scotch at the cabinet.

Erzsébet readily accepted hers. Arthur was a strange man. A little buzz would probably be the best way to understand someone so bizarre. A question nagged at her in the back of her mind. "Aren’t you normally his ally anyways? It seems odd for you to be preemptively siding with us."

Arthur waved her concern away. "It's all about the balance of power. When Austria is too strong, I work with Prussia; when Prussia is too strong, I work with Austria. I'll be blunter than I really should be, but it's all about keeping you lot in check." He chuckled. "You can understand, wouldn't want either of you becoming too elevated."

"Are you implying him or I couldn't handle it?" Austria took his seat on the far-end of the couch besides Hungary. "While I agree that he's incapable and would lead the world into endless wars, you seem to be misjudging my capabilities."

"Am I really? I apologize, it must be due to the fact that I can't recall the last time you won a war on your own merit." Britain sipped from his drink, staring down Austria from over the rim. "It would be fascinating to see a man who can't even control his own household vaingloriously attempt to control disparate parts of the world. No disrespect, but if you can't handle Bohemia then you certainly can't control Australia." He winked at Hungary, a sly smile forming across his lips. "I'm sure the woman who can attest to all this has a lot to say on the subject."

Hungary couldn't mask her bemused smile. She could appreciate anyone who could check Austria at his own, faux-gentlemanly game. Her emotions ran too hot to ever achieve that. Despite how much she wished to join Britain's crusade, she didn't want to create any hassle for herself. "Arthur, be good. You'll get me in trouble." It certainly didn't hurt that her voice had a distinctly flirty tone to it that both men picked up on.

"You most certainly will." Austria's hand gripped tight around his glass, making his knuckles white. He shot daggers at Hungary with his eyes, before turning them onto Britain. "Interesting for you to say all that. How long ago was it that you lost America and then failed to reacquire him? Was only a few years ago, wasn't it?" The corners of his mouth itched upward. "Seems as if you lack the skill required to control the more…passionate spirits among us."

Arthur's jaw tightened. Erzsébet found herself shocked by how hard that blow seemed to land. "No wonder you can't keep any spouse you manage to acquire. You're the most horrendous of men." Roderich's eyes widened and his mouth gaped. Arthur smiled, enjoying the moment of weakness from his prey. "It's quite funny, really, how befuddled you are by everyone's preference for Gilbert over you. None of us are foolish enough to believe that he's a better man than you - quite contrary, you both are incredibly uncouth and vile - but he doesn't hide his true self under a thin veneer of decorum. He knows he's wretched and he loves it. Which is rather charming when you get up close to it, as Erzsébet would willingly corroborate." His expression shifted into one of utter distaste as he stared down his nose at Roderich. "You might actually be enjoyable beyond a cheap laugh or two if you accepted who you really are: a barbarian with a suit flailing around high society."

"I think that's enough, Arthur." Despite addressing him, Erzsébet's full attention was on a completely gutted Roderich. "If you want to arrive before nightfall, leave for Berlin now."

"Very well. You're the expert after all." He rose, nodding his head at the two of them. Once in the doorway, he turned around. "Don't take it all to heart, Roderich. You do have redeeming qualities. You're quite the brilliant pianist." Cackling, he took his leave.

Erzsébet cautiously reached out to him. "Are you alright?" She didn't know why she bothered. It's not like everything Arthur had said was wrong. She found herself agreeing to it in principle and had even said quite a bit of it to Roderich without him being affected. It seemed as if coming from Arthur, from _Britain,_ it had more weight.

Roderich understood this too and inched away from her. His eyes were alit with fury. "Why do you care? As if you think of me any differently." She had never seen his expression and body language filled with such contempt. He was trembling with his hate. "Every word he said, I know it's exactly as you think. Why act as if you care about my feelings now?"

If she said it was because it was the decent thing to do, he would throw it right back in her face. She had to proceed with caution. "Because I've never seen you so upset about this before."

"Of course, _you_ haven't. Why would I allow myself any vulnerability before you? You're a complete wench."

All Erzsébet's compassion was thrown out the window. "Amazing. You're really willing to prove his point this quickly? You've been horrid to me since the day I arrived! No consideration for my feelings, my experiences, any respect for me as a person nor as a state! You really expected me to give you the respect you wouldn't dare to afford me?" She was screaming now, yelling at the top of her lungs. "You're a bastard!"

"You're damn right I did because I am your superior! I am the master of your lands; you should do as I say and not be so hellbent on undermining every little thing I do! Being married to me and living underneath my king should be an honor!" He was standing now, his glass had fallen to floor, shattered into thousands of tiny little pieces. Roderich smiled in a way that completely distorted his face. "I should've left you under the damn Turks. A whore like you probably loved being part of that harem. No shame in admitting it now, I can't imagine you've ever been a virginal woman."

A loud smack filled the air, the cracking of skin-on-skin. The left side of Roderich's face was bright red. Erzsébet laughed hysterically despite there being nothing funny about the whole situation. Her eyes were wild. "I slit Sadiq's throat in his sleep once. It's important that you understand I'll do the same to you. Blood doesn't wash out of silk easily."

Her response was a nice wad of spit landing on her cheek, underneath her eye. Her outrage fueled Roderich's own. "I know where the swords are too, bitch. You really think you can threaten me?" He rolled his eyes, scoffing. "Why don't you make yourself useful and clean up the glasses you knocked over?" He smirked, his eyes begging her to continue. "Or are you going to run to Gilbert and tell him more about your nasty little husband? You realize that you're no princess and he's no knight? None of them care. They'll never come to save you."

"I don't need saving," she hissed. Fire coursed through her veins. "I will break free from you on my own. I don't expect anyone's help."

"You've said that for centuries, but look-" Austria stretched his arms out wide, a taunting grin on his lips. "You're still here."


	6. The Illusionist

_Budapest, 1945._

"You have to listen to me! I'm not the villain here!"

Britain rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. She watched the veins in his jaw twitch in frustration. "Bloody hell, what's with you Axis Powers? No one man enough to take the blame for what they did, eh? Austria and Prussia say it was all Germany, Romano says it was all Veneziano and Germany, and now you're claiming to be a victim too!" He slapped his hand down hard on the metal desk, the sound ringing throughout the room. "Fucking Germany himself wanted to blame it all on temporary insanity until he saw the pictures! Do I have to use the same tactic on you to get an adequate confession?"

"No!" Hungary's eyes flashed wide. She couldn't handle seeing any photos from the damn camps. Hearing about them from Prussia and Austria was bad enough, but to actually see...? She wouldn't be able to stomach it. "Please, Britain. I reached out to you often throughout the war. You know what really happened."

"You're bloody well right I do! You're no better than the rest of them! Collaborating with the enemy. At least France had the moral courage to stand up to such horrors!"

"Would you treat Poland like this for doing what he was necessary to survive? Do you know what pressure I was under every day for years?" Her voice shook with desperation. She needed him to understand, not to avoid a large indemnity, but to avoid eternal damnation.

He barked out a laugh lacking any warmth. "Gutsy of you to compare yourself to Feliks. The man actually fought viciously against two enemies! If you wanted any shred of sympathy, you would've done a bit more to resist at any cost." He shook his head, seething. "Don't talk to me about what the cost would've been. I don't need a lecture from a coward."

"I did what I could. It took him invading to do real harm. I used bureaucracy to my advantage, don't act like that counts for nothing!" Hungary wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to tear the whole building down. All for some shred of validation that she'd done something right throughout this whole mess. "My nation wasn't good, but _I_ as Erzsébet Héderváry was a good person."

"For Christ's sake!" Arthur began pacing around the room. She noticed the distinct limp as he moved. "Gilbert was a good person, Roderich was a good person, Lovino was a good person, you were a good person! If I realized the Axis was composed of such upright citizens, I would've rolled over and allowed myself to become the Nazis' lapdog next!" He glared at her with such vitriol, it astounded her. "Do you really expect me to believe Ludwig and Feliciano were the only monsters? What a crock!"

She buried her head in her hands. He was making sense, though she loathed to admit it. "You don't have proof that we weren't trying to do what we could to stop it." Her voice was weak. She feared what he did have.

A Cheshire cat smile spread across his face. "Bold of you to assert that. The other three have been difficult to find personal transgressions on, but you've been quite simple." He tossed a thick manila envelope at her. "Russia made it quite easy to gather up the evidence on your wartime excesses. Letting your soldiers slaughter without impunity? I thought you'd grown out of that."

Hungary didn't need to look at what was there. It would all be true, she knew it would be. She remembered what she'd allowed - and, if she was really honest, what she'd encouraged at times - her men to do. "You're no better than me. We've all done it." It was a weak defense, but the best she could offer. "Haven't you done the same in India or Africa? Maybe that's why they want independence."

"Excuse you? I'm not the one on trial here!" Britain straightened up, trying to look as mighty as he once was. All she could focus on was how bent and broken his body was. A shadow of his former self. "My crimes - if I've even committed any, which will _never_ be for you to decide - aren't the case here! You're the one who's been committing war crimes with impunity, yoking it up with the fascists you've been in bed with your whole life! Originally, I was shocked to see you turn tail to be with them since you were so desperate for an alliance with me. In reality, I shouldn't have been. Your whole life you've been following whatever German barks an order at you. Why would things change now?"

Hungary's eyes narrowed. "You speak on things you know nothing about. My personal life is my own."

"For centuries you've allowed your personal life to be the hottest gossip in Europe and now you want privacy? Absolutely bonkers." He scoffed, shaking his head. "No, you only want privacy now because it's uncomfortable for you to admit it led you astray. It's quite a shame really, you had such promise."

"Such high praise coming from someone who was once so mighty. Why would I want to take compliments from such a washed-up little empire?" She didn't care how badly this would get her in trouble. He'd insulted her, she would lash back. Such disrespect couldn't be tolerated.

He smacked the table hard again, ignoring the stinging in his hand. "I refuse to be insulted like this! You lack the ability to fully grasp the situation you're in! You should be groveling!" A vicious glint came across his face. "Why am I getting so upset? I know just the trick."

Britain headed for the door, chuckling to himself like a madman. "Have to go get America? You really can't finish any battle without him these days, huh?" Hungary needed the last word for her ego, if nothing else. Something to give her some pride.

"Oh, you wish it was Alfred." He opened the door. "Oi, Russia. It's your turn. She's uncooperative."

Dread filled every fiber of her being as Russia's hulking figure appeared in front of her. He was smiling, but there was no warmth and his eyes were emotionless. "Hungary, so nice to be with you again. We have unfinished business, no?"


	7. The Emperor

_Vienna, 1793._

As shocking as it may seem, Erzsébet did love Roderich once. When he came rushing into Budapest, in full armor and a smile that lit up her world, he was so easy to become infatuated with. As much as it pained her independent spirit to admit, he had been her savior. He had freed her from an existence she found utterly degrading, that would haunt her for the rest of her years.

He had been so beautiful then. So charming.

When she had first moved into his home, all she wanted to do was follow him around. Being in Roderich's presence was intoxicating. He was a man unlike any other she'd seen before. Where Sadiq was cruel and Gilbert was feral, Roderich was well-mannered and principled. He had a quiet dignity that everyone around him knew to listen and respect him. That whoever stood by his side would be respected as well because they were his.

She wanted nothing more than to be _his._

Things began changing soon though. He had been charming in the beginning and attentive to her needs. Roderich had cared about her and how she adjusted to his lifestyle. He worked with her over her rusty German, gently teasing her for speaking with the same northern accent as Gilbert. There was a sparkle in his eyes - they captivated her, they looked as stunning as the amethysts he wore in his rings - whenever he saw her. Erzsébet believed it was love. She needed it to be love.

Whenever Antonio came over, he would cast her aside and glower at her for interrupting their conversations. That was the beginning of it. Once she was sufficiently integrated into his home, he became less concerned. Her people clamored too loud for too many things, she creeped him out with how she would hover in a room with him.

She was a problem. And Austria knew how to deal with problems.

Austria became concerned with breaking her spirit and the spirit of her people. His words and actions became abrasive and cruel. She felt foolish for ever imagining a future with him, where he could see her as an equal, when all along she'd been a means of furthering his power. No more important than the other bits of territory he gobbled up.

That's when it began. The affair with Gilbert, who never stopped staring at her with devotion. Her screaming matches with Roderich that would fill up on the whole home. With each infraction against her, Hungary found herself hating Austria more and more.

With that history, she watched him frantically flip through his papers and scribble on them every now and then as required. He was completely engrossed in his work, only breaking that focus when a different herd of ministers entered to inform him of the latest deliberations. The familiar flurry of war preparations.

"Your relationship with Gilbert boggles the mind. Either declare him your eternal enemy and always fight against him or both of you get over your issues and begin actively working together." She shook her head. "This constant changing of sides between you two hurts my neck. It gives me whiplash."

"Shouldn't you be happy we're working with him again? Especially after he negotiated a better hand for you." His voice adopted a mockingly sweet tone while his eyes never left his papers. _"Mein Gott!_ He really does love you! When's the wedding?"

She rolled her eyes into the pages of her book. What a weak piece of bait he offered. He'd have to do better than that. "I'm content, happy might be pushing it too far. I'm simply commenting on the absurdity of your whole relationship with him."

"He's a useful idiot. Sometimes his muscle and bloodlust are beneficial. That's all there is to it. Now, observe something else if you don't mind."

"Fine. How about I observe how handsome he is in uniform? Don't you see him and can't help thinking 'ravish me?'" She pretended to swoon over the arm of the sofa, her wrist against her forehead. It took great difficulty stifling her laugh.

Roderich stared at her, clearly not amused. "If you keep it up, I'm kicking you out and locking the door. I'm a very busy man." More scribbling. "I have important matters to attend to."

They passed in silence for a while, both attending to their own matters. Hungary broke it much too soon for Austria's liking. "Why exactly must we get involved with France right now? He's destroying himself enough as it is." She wrinkled her nose. "And I was never much of fan of Maria Antonia. Too frilly for my taste."

"To send a message that you don't execute Habsburg princesses with impunity! I could give a damn if you actually cared for her, Erzsébet! That has nothing to do with anything!" He shook his head, clearly exasperated. "Have some pride! They're your monarchs too, I shouldn't be the only one distraught at this."

"Distraught? As soon as you received the news, you rushed over Gilbert for you two to gloat about what hell you'd rain down on Paris! I'm not some little civilian in the street, you don't need to recite the official propaganda to me."

"Must you push back on anything I plan to undertake? My life would be so much easier if you would shut up for once! Have you considered that sometimes I'm in the right? Maybe it's hard to believe, but I'm hard to provoke." Roderich ran a hand through his hair, careful not to become too disheveled.

"Hard to provoke? Are you kidding me? I think Bohemia would say otherwise." She laughed and it rang clear throughout the room. "Hell, _I_ would say otherwise too! If any of us look at you the wrong way, you react so severely. You can't handle even the perception of a provocation."

"I'm begging you to be silent! I have much more important matters at hand than you!" His irritation grew knowing his outburst was proving her right. In a huff, he vainly attempted to return to his work.

Hungary smirked. "Typical Austria, can never bother to show any interest in us lowly states. Why would he bother when he can be made a fool by ham-fistedly doing his best at power politics?" She sung her words under her breath, making them appear almost sweet when they were really dripping with venom.

He sighed. What work was he really going to get done while she was here? They both would be itching for a fight while in each other's presence. "I have no reason to try and please you. The civilization I brought you should be pleasing enough along with the leadership of a benevolent royal family." He rested his left cheek against his fist, already tired with this argument before it fully began. "I take care of you. I buy you the finest clothes, feed you the finest food, and house you in the most magnificent castle. Anything else you could desire is pure greed."

"I'm so sorry, _szerelem_ _."_ Erzsébet put a hand to her chest. "How could I forget that only the basic essentials are required for me to be completely and utterly devoted to you. Never mind that my husband has never found me a worthy partner so he treats me like shit, no. I'm the one who has to be bending over backwards to make the relationship a strong one." She glared at him, fire burning in her eyes. "Do you ever hear yourself when you say things like this? You're utterly full of shit." 

Austria rose and walked over towards her. "I treat you exactly as you deserve to be treated. You're a petulant little province and a woman who's ungrateful for any little thing I do to make her life better. I'm constantly amazed at your inability to learn your place." He knelt down on both knees before her, taking her hands in his and kissing them. The action was completely void of love. "Maybe I could love you if you would finally obey me like a proper wife."

She smacked him hard across the face, thrilling at the sound. He winced, touching his cheek and finding blood on his fingers. Her rings had sliced through his skin easily. He made a mental note to confiscate some of her jewels. Despite this, he laughed. "You hit like a woman. Completely weak. You should leave the fighting to your paramour."

Erzsébet swung her hand back. This time, he grabbed hold of her wrist. He was applying so much pressure, she swore he might snap it in two. "Stupid bitch, do you really think you can use the same move twice and have me not block it? Aren't you supposed to be a brilliant military mind?" He scoffed, watching a bruise form on her skin. "You've grown soft. Good. The softer you are, the easier for my men to mow down any little rebellion of yours."

"Why do you get off on being so horrendous? When I first came here, you were so kind to me." The pain in her wrist made her weak, or maybe she thought appealing to whatever humanity was left in him would work. "I loved you once. That was my greatest mistake."

"I could never love you." What stung most was that there was no hostility in his voice. He spoke plainly, as he would if he were talking about battle formations or the notes in a scale. "You've never been anything to me, Erzsébet. Nothing more than the land that makes up your borders. Realize that and you won't be so offended by my actions."

She winced. She couldn't tell if it was his words or the numbness in her hand. "If I don't matter to you, why can't I be with him? Wouldn't it be easier to rule over me, if that's really all that matters, if I were happy? Maybe then I would help you keep my people at bay." Erzsébet took a sharp breath through her nose. She had never remembered him being so strong. "This isn't a real marriage. I'm sure you cheat on me too."

Roderich smiled. She always believed violet to be a warm color but found it so cold now. A shiver went up her spine. He reminded her of a fox. They had the same treachery. "You're smart enough to know the answer. If I turn a blind eye on everything, then you both get to be happy." He chuckled softly, the action devoid of any natural emotions. "That’s not fun for me. I'd rather destroy both your wills." Standing, he tossed her away from him, bored of his hostage. "If I allow you to subvert my authority so easily, then what's stopping you from successfully gaining independence in your next rebellious phase? If he, so to speak, gets the girl, then what else will he try to take from me? I can allow for neither of these things, less I wish to attract all the vultures." 

She rubbed her wrist, letting out a string of expletives. It was a minor fracture, but that didn't stop it from throbbing. "If you're going to act with that philosophy, then you understand that I have no choice but to continue acting in this way. I let one man crush my spirit before, I will not let another do the same." She met his gaze, quiet contempt passing between them.

"If that's what you choose, have it your way." He shrugged, unsurprised by her choice. "You have free will, but I can certainly make you feel the consequences of it. And, I can assure you, they will be swift and fierce." The corners of his mouth turned upwards, but it wasn't a grin. He was fearsome. "I'll see you at dinner, _Liebchen."_


	8. Naked

_Berlin, 1938._

"Have you come here to gloat?'

Roderich was sitting before a piano, but it wasn't his and it wasn't his house. Erzsébet was visiting him in what was Gilbert's home, but probably now belonged to Ludwig because every belonged to Ludwig now.

She had never seen him so disheveled. There were bags under his eyes, his shirt was riddled with wrinkles, and his hair was an utter catastrophe. "What is there to gloat about?" She held his gaze steady. "I came to see how you were doing."

"How I'm doing shouldn't concern you." He plucked out a few notes on the keys, completely uninspired. "You don't have to lie to me. I know the real reason. He's upstairs." He turned back to his instrument. Where the music would've normally been beautiful, it was clunky and tense.

She put a hand atop his. "Can't I care about you?"

Roderich snorted. "You gave up that right twenty-years ago. If you wanted to care about me, you shouldn't have filed the damn divorce." He forced himself to focus on the music. Up-tempo, a frantic flurry of keys. If the ivory feels his frustration then he won't lash out at her, right?

An unsatisfactory response. "We've gone over this. I didn't leave because I didn't care for you. I left because I love myself most." 

"Did you say love?" His fingers hovered above the keys, eyes flashing wide open. He shook his head, removing himself of his fog and feeling ridiculous. Forget the silly delusions. "I don't need you. I have Gilbert now."

_That_ was a shock. Erzsébet found herself reeling. "Excuse me?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "How stupid do you think I am? I came here precisely because you're living with him! You two must be going at each other's throats every day. I pity Ludwig-"

_"Deutschland_ does not need _your_ sympathy." The acid in his voice surprised both of them. He cleared his throat, trying for composure again. Roderich turned to face her, hoping attentiveness would convey honesty. "Circumstance allows some wounds to heal. And him and I have both been victims of circumstance as of late."

Considering Austria or Prussia victims was certainly amusing. She wouldn’t touch that though. The ensuing argument there was not worth her time. Still, Hungary would have her fun. "What, you don't like being invaded?" The ends of her lips upturned into a smirk. "You used to be such a fan of foreign leadership, what happened?"

His eyes narrowed. "I knew you were here to gloat. Typical. You haven't changed a bit."

Erzsébet winced. Why did that sting so much? She changed her tact, no longer wanting to give in to her worst instincts. "That was inappropriate, I'm sorry. I've never seen you like this before. I don't quite have my bearings."

That elicited a faint smile from him. "That makes two of us. Here, sit down. You've been standing this whole time, that's rude of me." He slid over on the bench, making room for her. With an eye roll, she complied. "Much better. Now, why are you so conflicted? I've finally got my comeuppance. You should be dancing on my grave."

"Not like this. I wanted you to be humbled, but this is beyond anything I would wish for anyone." She shook her head, the gentle waves of her hair falling into her face. "Really, all I wanted was a good uprising from one of us to have you stop thinking you were high and mighty. I would never wish for you to live in Berlin." She wrinkled her nose. "I wouldn't wish for anyone to live here."

That brought joy to Roderich's heart. He laughed boisterously. "Isn't it a shithole? I've been schlepped around, to-and-fro, by Gilbert trying to show me where the culture is so I feel more at home." His face scrunched up in displeasure. "There's nothing here. Dingey, dirty, and the people here lack any manners. Staying here amounts to little more than psychological torture! And the two of them don't make it better! Ludwig was raised without the touches of high society. All they drink is beer and the food is terrible! Do you know how much wurst I've eaten in the last three days?"

Erzsébet tuned him out, lazily watching Roderich release all his pent-up frustration. She really didn't care what he had to say on the matter, none of it interested her, but she was relieved to see some emotion flooding back into him. No longer was he the lifeless shell she'd found upon arrival. He was much more himself, which is what mattered to her. No matter the state of their relationship now, she didn't want to see him so defeated.

"You're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

Her cheeks flushed bright pink. "I am! You were talking about…" Think of something. Quick, anything! "Talking about the inferiority of the local opera scene?"

"I wasn't, but close enough." He noticed the fear in her eyes that he would begin a tangent on that and laughed. "I'll spare you my thoughts on Berlinese opera. Thank you for visiting, I enjoy your company more than I should."

"Don't thank me. My conscience wouldn't rest until I saw you." Absentmindedly, she tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. "I don't believe you've ever experienced anything like this before. For someone so unused to it, I can't imagine the toll it most be taking." Her eyes softened on him. "It's strange seeing a once mighty man so weakened."

Perhaps she thought nothing of her actions, but Austria's breath caught in his throat. He wondered if she could hear his heart. How it hammered against his ribcage! He averted his gaze to the floor to provide himself some mercy. "I-It's not easy. But I have to get through it, don't I? All things must end."

Hungary took his hand in hers. "For what it's worth, you're not alone." He was sure she could hear his heartbeat now. "If what you say is true, Gilbert and I will be here for you, every step of the way." It was a genuine smile and her green eyes sparkled with kindness, but why did everything feel so cruel?

To Roderich's horror and Erzsébet's delight, Gilbert thundered into the room. "Erzsi, my heart heard your siren call and it led me straight to you!" He dashed over to her, a dazzling smile on his face. Erzsébet had never been so charmed, Roderich never so disgusted. "Well, really, I was in the kitchen and I heard your voice. Oh, hey, Roddy."

"She was visiting me!" Roderich's protestations were completely drowned out by their infatuation with each other. Sickening, absolutely sickening. The taste of bile filled his mouth as he strode out the room. "I'll give you two some privacy." Some wounds never healed.


	9. The Hierophant

_Berlin, 1871._

"Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for!" Gilbert sauntered into his study, arms outstretched and looking victorious.

Erzsébet giggled, hiding a smile behind her hand. "Gil, I'm the only one here."

"Exactly, you're the only audience I need!" He knelt down and kissed her before sitting beside her on his desk. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. Bismarck wanted to go over the plans for Alsace-Lorrain with Wilhelm and I." It seemed to her like he was dropping names to impress her. His insecurity despite such a massive victory was somewhat adorable.

"It felt like a millennium. I didn't know how much longer I could last. I was beside myself. You shouldn't keep a woman waiting this long!" His fantastic mood was infectious. Despite herself, she couldn't help going along with it. She bumped him with her elbow. "I expect some sort of compensation for my suffering."

"Of course, my sincerest apologies. Anything you want, anything in the world, and it's yours!" He kissed her cheek, pulling her in close. "Diamonds from Africa? Rubies from Burma? Colombian emeralds? I'll make you the most beautiful crown in the colors of your flag."

"Gilbert! Be more ambitious than that! Why don't you steal the crown jewels off Victoria's head?"

His eyes turned the color of flames. "You're brilliant! Britain will be next on the list then! I’ll invade him so swiftly, he won’t know what hit him. He’ll be begging on his knees before he’ll be able to even think of surrendering.” He kissed her cheek, trying to hide his bloodlust with tenderness. “Once the inks dried and the jewels are mine, I’ll crown you with them in Westminster.”

Erzsébet shifted away from him. Fear gnawed at her. Not of him – he had never given her reason to be – but for him. He seemed too eager to enact his little fantasy. “With what navy? Or would you make your men swim across the Channel?” She hoped teasing him would get the idea out of his mind. “I had no idea your infantry was amphibious. No wonder you’ve been on such a win-streak.”

He ignored the last of what she said. Prussia’s delusions of grandeur were kicking in, his eyes drifted to some far-off place where glory was always within reach. “I’ll build a navy! I’ll build a better navy than him. As if it’s that hard!” He laid his head in her lap, staring up at her with an idiotic smile. His hand reached up, caressing her cheek. “If you want me to go to war with him, I won’t hesitate to.”

Asinine. This whole conversation was asinine. “I don’t want you to declare war on anyone!” Realizing how harsh she sounded, Hungary took a deep breath. She tried again. “Aren’t you tired of fighting yet? What more trophies do you need?”

He laughed, completely oblivious to her worry. “Why would I be tired? Erzsi, I’m kicking some serious ass. These have all been some quick little skirmishes against lesser armies – er, no offense. The Hungarian side of the army was hard.” She was giving him a look. Gilbert knew he’d pay for that remark later. “Anyways, this is all in good fun! Just settling some old scores.”

“How could I forget. The famous Prussian-Danish animosity. Goes back centuries, but so under studied.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t lie to me. I know this is all about power-grabs.”

“It’s not all about that!” Another sharp look. A defeated sigh. “Fine. It’s primarily about that, but what’s so wrong in undertaking the quest for empire? For a little recognition? Those guys have had it for centuries and they do nothing with it! They’re too concerned with keeping their hegemony over everything that they can’t realize when it’s time to move over!” He smiled, all teeth. She had never recalled him looking so much like a wolf. It chilled her. “And it’s about damn time for them to move over or face my sword.”

“Where does this end?” Her thumb traced the outline of his jaw. “You can’t keep fighting forever. At some point, you’ll alienate everyone.” She didn’t dare add ‘including me’ to that thought. It seemed too premature for such a threat.

“I’ve been fighting my whole life. It’s what I’ve been born to do.” He kissed the inside of her palm, his lips lingering against her skin. “You’re the only one I never want to fight.” In that moment, she thought he sounded like the man he was before all this.

Hungary couldn’t make him any promises. Not until she knew what his endgame was. Her heart ached. The aching was familiar, this happened whenever they were together due to the impermanence, but the why was different. She couldn’t lose him to empire too. “I’m afraid you’ll be an Icarus.”

“Maybe I am. But we remember him, don’t we? It’s a legacy.” Prussia’s eyes, so red and vibrant, now seemed like an imminent portend. Sensing her unease, he slipped into an easy grin. “Nothing will happen to me, you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m awesome.” He guffawed at her aggrieved expression. “What else did you expect me to say?” Calming himself he sat up and cradled her face in his hands. “I promise you, everything will work out just fine. Please don’t worry about me. I’ll try to be more careful if it makes you feel better. But I should be the least of your worries.” He kissed her softly. When they parted, his eyes were bright with eagerness. “Do you want to see the trophy I stole from Francis after I ran him through?”

His words helped ease her worries somewhat. Until, of course, he had to open his mouth again. Erzsébet resisted the urge to roll her eyes. At least his words were sincere so there was hope that this was just Gilbert being Gilbert. She smiled, trying to slip into the supportive lover role. “Sure, dear.” Before she could answer, he was already in the closet rummaging for it.

At last, he hoisted up a French flag. It was riddled with dried blood and fraying at the edges. “I think he got his gun knocked away from him and it was so easy to overpower his sabre, so this was the only thing he was left holding. You know what his last words were before he died?” Prussia licked his lips, delighting in the memory. _“’Vive la France’.”_

She could picture it. France on the ground, the only thing between him and Prussia would be the tip of Prussia’s blade. She fought alongside Gilbert so often she could see the mania in his eyes, the thrill of the kill before it happened. She’d seen Francis lose so many times too, that she could imagine his defiance at the situation, that none of this mattered because he’d be back on top soon. “Did you say anything to him?”

That wolf-like smile returned, except hungrier. “Of course. _‘Deutschland über alles.‘“_

Her heart dropped to her feet. He returned the flag to its place in the closet. “I miss you, Gilbert.” Her voice was so soft, she doubted he even heard it.

“But I’m right here.” He kissed her, tentatively and with a quiet desperation. He was there, but they both knew he really wasn’t. Erzsébet’s fingers tangled in his hair and she forced her eyes to remain shut. Her best friend, the man she loved with her whole heart, was still in there. She’d seen glimmers, all hope wasn’t lost. Her legs wrapped around him, pulling him in closer. Then why did it feel like she had lost him? That the end was in sight?

They parted, panting softly. The way Gilbert looked at her made it almost feel like everything was how it had always been. He grinned at her, the utter devotion in his gaze made him appear so young. “There’s this new opera that opened recently. My queen and all her ladies have been raving about it and it’s a hot ticket.” He bit his lips nervously, as if this was the first time he’d ever asked her on a date. “I know some people, pulled a few strings, and landed us two tickets for tonight. Private balcony in a great spot. Do you want to go with me?”

This was persuasive enough to convince her to push aside her anxiety over his future. It was too large to be resolved in one night and, really, didn’t she want to enjoy every moment possible with him? Things like this didn’t happen so frequently. Erzsébet couldn’t help falling for him. She always did. “I want nothing more than to be your date.”

“I love you.” And she knew he really did.

“I love you too.” And she knew she always would.


	10. The Fallen

_Potsdam, 1947._

When she had rushed to Berlin nine years ago, it was without invitation. This time, before she even heard anything, Prussia had called her frantically and in tears. Over the phone, Hungary had barely understood him. Now, sitting in the gardens of San Souci, he was completely silent.

“Please talk to me." She reached out to him, resting her hand on top of his. “You never said what happened.”

He began spitting out curses in every language he knew. Old Prussian, German, Latin, English. They all blurred together, strung out without any pause for air between them. She thought she detected her own, words she knew she’d flung at him, but couldn’t tell. At last, he exhausted his language capabilities. “I can’t fucking stand them. All of them! Soulless bastards, every single one!” He picked up a rock and flung it, needing to destroy something.

“Gilbert, what are you-”

“I wish we’d done more air raids on Britain! The country should’ve been levelled then he wouldn’t be acting like such a hot shot. What fucking war did he win? He did nothing to preempt this from happening! Neither did France, who’s even more useless! Mr. ‘I-get-invaded-and-fucking-destroyed-every-war-but-somehow- _I_ -decide-the-terms?’ Shut the fuck up!” His whole body shook in his rage. She couldn’t recall ever seeing him this way. “And don’t get me started on America! Real tough guy, dropping atom bombs like he decides who lives and dies! Japan should’ve-”

This was madness. “Stop. You don’t really mean all this.” She didn’t believe he really felt this way. She knew he didn’t. What he was saying was horrible for its cruelty.

“What if I do, huh? Aren’t I a villain? Apparently, I’m the most despicable man on this continent since the other contender chose a fucking coward’s end.” He spat on the ground, bile pooling in his mouth after invoking his presence. “All I do is go around and victimize people, right? I’m always the aggressor, I ruin every good nation I touch! I’m the only one who starts war without cause – see! I’m big enough to fucking admit it! – because I’m the villain. I’m terrible, I’m a loathsome creature. France and Britain would _never,_ they’ve never dragged us all into hell just so they could punch each other!” He snarled as he screamed, reminding her of an animal. There was nothing human in his behavior.

“Gilbert, you know that’s not true. You’re not a villain.” Erzsébet was desperately trying to figure out what the cause of his outbursts were. It couldn’t be the loss of the war, not when he never believed in its cause. Why then?

“You don’t mean that. I know you don’t. If they can see that, then it’s the truth. I’m the lowest form of life on earth, right? I’m completely unlovable. What worth do I have? I only cause wars and descend the world to hell! I ruined my brother apparently! I’m the cause for all his ills because Ludwig is a victim too! He’s a fucking victim, he would’ve been better off if I had never been around him. ‘Prussian militarism,’ they kept fucking yelling at me! ‘Prussian militarism is the blight of the world!’ Maybe the real fucking blight is British imperialism or French arrogance or American-! What the hell? Why did you slap me?”

Erzsébet’s eyes were opened wide. “Why did I slap you? Because you’re ranting and raving like a lunatic and I don’t have a goddamn reason why!” She turned his head towards her, holding his gaze. “This is the last time I’m asking you this: what happened? If you don’t tell me, I’m leaving.”

The prospect of being alone calmed him down enough to finally, actually listen to her. He stared at the ground, afraid of how her opinion of him would change. “They dissolved me. I no longer exist.” He began shredding up some of the grass, apologizing to Fritz in his mind for the property damage. “Britain and France delivered the news. They blamed everything on me. Said it was my ‘militarism’ that corrupted Ludwig, that made all this possible.” He swallowed hard, trying to suppress whatever was bubbling up within him. His voice was hushed. “They told me I wanted all this. They didn’t believe me when I begged them to remember how I tried to reach out to them to stop this before it happened, that _they_ ignored _me.”_ He chuckled, lacking emotion. “And Russia, who I thought was my friend, only stood there. He shrugged, said he tried to keep me on the map, but what could he do? And that son of a bitch America, well didn’t he think it was all so funny?

“I taught that kid how to hold a gun, I straightened up his military during his revolution. And this is the thanks I get?” Gilbert shook his head, taking in a sharp breath. “From all of them. How many men did I lose fighting wars for France and Britain? How much I gave up helping Russia gobble up Poland like it was nothing? Fuck, I genuinely liked some of these guys. I considered them good friends. But none of it matters.”

Erzsébet pulled him tight towards her. What could she say? What condolences could you offer to a nation that lost its very being? There were no sufficient platitudes. “You weren’t harsh enough.” Disgust burned in her stomach, filling her up like smoke. “Those bastards. France and Britain have no room to point fingers. You’ve all committed the same crimes. They have no right to decide these sorts of things.”

“I should’ve listened to you. You were right, you’re always right. I made too many enemies.” He buried his head in her shoulder, willing himself not to break down. “They gave Austria all the sympathy in the world because he’s always been better than me. Both of you tried to warn me. My ego, my _fucking_ ego.” He tried turning his rage on himself, but it didn’t make him feel better. Nothing did.

She stroked his hair, hoping the gesture would be somewhat soothing. “Try not to beat yourself up. It’s too late to change the past.” She cautiously avoided saying ‘I told you so.’

He laughed bitterly. “It really is too late. Everything’s too damn late. That’s what makes it hurt even more, I’ve been condemned to my fate.” Gilbert was silent for a moment before breaking into sobs. His chest heaved, his body quaking at the size of his grief. “What’s going to happen to me, Erzsi? What’s going to happen?” He met her eyes and she could taste his dread. “I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die, please, not yet!”

Her grip on him tightened, holding onto him as if their lives depended on it. “You’re not going anywhere. You’re not leaving me.” Her own voice shook as she tried to be reassuring, but it came out pleading. Erzsébet would not imagine a world without him. One where she would no longer find him draped across her couch, where his abrasive laugh wouldn’t fill up her home, where she couldn’t reach out and hold his hand in hers. “You will _not_ die. You’re going to live, Gilbert, please don’t die.”

She kept repeating her words like a chant. If she said them enough, it would make them true. It would remove the uncertainty of their future. Her will was indomitable, it had brought forth the destruction of states before and it would set the world ablaze if these cowards killed him by decree.

Erzsébet held his face in her hands, leveling her gaze with his. “We will be fine, _you_ will be fine. They can’t kill what refuses to die.”

“I’ll never leave you.”

She shut her eyes, not wanting to cry more. “Do not promise me what you may not be able to keep!” She took a staggered breath before looking at him again. “Promise me you’ll do what you’ve always done best: fight.”

“If it lets me stay with you, I’ll never stop.” He kissed her like it might be the last time.


	11. The Chariot

_Moscow, 1956._

Hungary was certain of very few things these days. Of these few certainties, one was clear: she had never hated anyone like she loathed Russia.

He made the worst of the Ottomans and Austria seem like child’s play, like it was all simple misunderstanding. Russia presented a new stage of torture, of the criminal. He imposed crushing humiliations upon each of the states under his control and, if they failed to comply, they would be shipped off to Siberia until they were ready to play the game again. Erzsébet had visited Siberia often.

A couple times a year, each one had to trek to Moscow to grovel before Ivan and proclaim his superiority above them. It was a sick performance, one that left each of them with a sour taste in their mouths. She was always forced to enact this ritual besides Gilbert. It killed two birds with one stone. Each of them would kowtow before him while he could degrade each of them before the other. She had broken off their relationship and done her best to deny her feelings in a vain attempt at sparing what was left of their honor, but it only increased the frequency of their dual punishments. 

This time was different. They were summoned because of a failed revolution in her lands and now she would have to pay. “Erzsébet, why do you hurt me so? You’ve been so naughty lately.” Ivan sat, his eyes boring into her. There was a smile on his face, but his eyes lacked any depth. It was the look of a man who’d lost touch with his humanity. “Why is it always you who rejects my love most strongly?”

_Because you’re a monster._ “Because I’m not worthy of it. I never learnt my place or how to accept the authority of those much better than me.” She knew the lines, she knew them by heart, and hated herself for playing her role in this puppet theater. She bowed her head, knowing he would take it as in shame but it was really so he wouldn’t see her disgust.

He rose and strode towards her. “I want to see your eyes, Erzsébet. They’re so beautiful. Like rolling fields of grass. Aren’t they, Gilbert?” He didn’t wait for the response. Ivan grabbed her jaw and thrusted her head up to meet him. “You haven’t learnt your lesson yet? Erzsi, you hurt me” She hated the sound of her name in his boorish tongue. “You insolent little girl. You know how we get obedience from children?” He spat on her, the same cruel grin on his face the whole time. “We beat them into submission. Gilbert, grab the whip on the table there. You will do me the honors.”

Silence rung throughout the room. Ivan narrowed his eyes. “Gilbert. Are you not moving?”

“Ivan, you know I can’t do that.” His voice was apologetic, but firm.

“Why not? Aren’t you Germans into this sort of thing? That’s what we found all throughout your brother’s room. Give into your carnal desires.” Ivan’s grip tightened on Erzsébet and she wanted to scream but refused to give him the satisfaction of her pain.

“This is going too far. Please, Ivan, you understand that.” She didn’t understand why Gilbert was trying so hard to appeal to his better instincts. Whatever part of Ivan he had originally befriended was long gone. They were dealing with a beast. The sooner that was understood, the less personal everything felt.

Ivan casted her aside, Erzsébet’s back slamming into the floor. “I have to do everything myself around here. All of you, all of you are useless!”

He grabbed the whip and she lost count of how many times it stung her skin. The whole time it was in use, he was screaming. “How long until you learn? Is this world, this world I’ve so caringly created for _us,_ not good enough for you? Is the gift of my friendship not satisfactory? None of you could make it without me! All of you would fail without my guidance! I am _saving_ you!” He began cackling, a vile sound, unable to control himself. “No one will save you! Nobody cares! Erzsi, the man you think cares so much won’t risk himself for you! If he really loved you, wouldn’t he take your place? Wouldn’t the those on the other side help you? None of them care or miss you, Erzsi, none of them ask for you! You know why?”

Ivan threw the whip aside and knelt before her. He caressed her cheek with his rough hand. “None of them can ever love you as much as I do. I am the only one who wants to save you. Your rejection hurts me, Erzsi, it pains me beyond what you will ever know. Let me care for you and you will enjoy your life much more.” He kissed the top of her forehead. His breath reeked of vodka and potato soup. Erzsébet wanted to gag, to make his scarf so tight around his throat that he choked. What a loathsome creature.

“Gilbert, my sweet Gilbert, this is true for you too. You know she wouldn’t hesitate to sell you out for an extra bread ration. Why remain so loyal? It will be your fatal flaw.” He sung the last part, enjoying the taste of his threats. “Let me treat you how you deserve, let us be close again.”

Ivan returned to his seat and evaluated them both. Satisfied with the damage he’d done and the lessons they’d learnt, he giggled. “You two are free to go, but first a question. You love me more than each other, yes?”

It was the same question he asked every time. He did not care if it was the truth, he only wanted to hurt them in some personal way. Erzsébet understood this. It was part of the script they followed, of their well-rehearsed routine. “Of course, Ivan. You’re a better man than he.” She hoped he didn’t detect the ice in her words or, if he did, that he wouldn’t care.

Normally, Gilbert had no problem in reciting his lines. She noticed something harden within him, how he stood straighter now. “No, she is the only one for me. And I know, beyond the wall, Ludwig is missing me in Berlin and Roderich is thinking of us in Vienna. Maybe you can get into everyone else’s heads with that bullshit, but not mine.”

“Why are you resisting? You’ve loved me for centuries.” Ivan’s hands balled to fists. It was a last chance.

“Who could care for someone who doesn’t even love his own sisters? Is it love when you starve Katya and her people? Is it love when you stalk their citizens and bug their homes? That’s not love, it’s the same shit I just left.” Gilbert turned his attention to Erzsébet now, a defiant desperation overtaking him and trying to convey something to with his eyes. “I’ll show you what real love is, but I don’t think you’re able to understand it anymore.”

He reached out towards her, their fingers inches apart. Erzsébet’s heart pounded in her chest. She was frozen, frozen in her fear for both their lives and proud of Gilbert for growing so bold just the same. If they both went down, at least it was like this. At least they had some honor restored to their names. A way for their friends in the west to remember them with pride.

“If you touch her, I’ll send her away instead.” Gilbert’s hand halted just above hers, not even daring to brush her with his pinky. “What’s the matter? Found the courage to protect her all of a sudden?”

“I love you. Keep your head down.” He spoke in Hungarian so Ivan wouldn’t understand. All she could focus on was how clunky her language always sounded in his mouth. When he returned, she would teach him how to make it sing.

“You’re an idiot. You always make things worse for yourself.”

Ivan tssked. “Very rude to keep secrets from me. We’ll straighten that out some other time. Erzsébet, leave. Gilbert and I have some work to do on our own.”

She hustled out, wanting to escape before Ivan changed his mind. As soon as the door was shut, she heard a loud crack against it and the sound of Gilbert moaning. Erzsébet bit her fist to prevent herself from screaming. She had to leave. Her feet propelled her, running out the home to the train station, afraid if she stopped sooner, she would never be able to move again.


	12. Loosened Wheel

_Budapest, 1989._

“Welcome, Ivan. Come in.”

Hungary had expected him. Russia never announced he would arrive, but she assumed he would show up. This time she had been ready. This time it wouldn’t be for massacre. No, she finally had the upper hand and she was relishing it. She poured them both a glass of wine. Never had such a simple act felt so powerful.

“I know why you’re here.”

She handed him the glass and sat down across from him on the couch. Satisfaction filled her when he seemed startled by her foresight. “You’re not exactly subtle. You’re like everyone else, you follow the same routines. No matter how special you think you are.” No longer was she afraid to serve him the poison that he deserved. There would be no consequences for her honesty.

“I suppose you have a point.” He studied the red wine, looking for any inconsistency. His paranoia gnawed at him.

She sighed, not having patience for his KGB games. “There’s nothing in it. You’re a large guy. Frankly, I don’t have enough cyanide to actually harm you.”

“Ah, right. Fair point.” He nervously sipped from his glass, looking around everywhere but at her. His discomfort fed her. It had been so long she had seen him lacking the dominant position. Pride filled her at being the one to put him on edge. “You have a lovely home. I don’t think I’ve ever come over before.”

“You haven’t. It’s because I only invite my friends.” Hungary sneered at him. “I wouldn’t exactly call us friends.”

Tense silence settled over them. She observed Ivan, how he squirmed, and wondered how he was ever allowed to take over half the world. She considered that a weakness on America’s part. How he never bothered to see the threat before their eyes or simply – and most likely – saw it but cared to do nothing about the problem. Typical of him.

“Are you really leaving us?” She appreciated Russia’s willingness to cut directly to the chase. It would waste less of their time if he kept it up instead of playing his little mind games.

“Of course. Why would I want to stay? You’ve never had anything to offer me and, now, you have even less.” She swirled the wine in her glass, observing the cyclical nature of its movements. “I want to be with civilization, Ivan. There’s nothing you can do to stop me. You’re too weak.”

He puffed out his chest, trying to appear as if there was still power within him. “The world still listens when I talk. Half the world fears me. Do well to remember that.” It seemed to her to be nothing more than a faltering façade.

Hungary rolled her eyes. “You’re about as powerful as my mirror. Which is to say, the only strength comes from how you perceive what’s staring back at you. I perceive you as weak, therefore you are weak.” She smiled, enjoying herself. “You’re what? A couple hundred years younger than me? Would you mind listening to the thoughts of an old woman? It would be rude to deny me in my own home.”

Feeling forced, Ivan nodded. “I can’t stop you anymore, can I?” The defeat in his voice was palpable.

What a nice admission. “No, you can’t.” Her smile widened into a grin. When had she last felt so strong? “I’ve seen it all, Ivan. I really have. Empire is an impermanent project. If you think it will last, you’re naïve. I’ve seen them all and they all crumble spectacularly.” She pondered that last part. “Well, Britain had a rather gentle collapse, but when you’re the one falling it must always feel violent.” She shook away that side thought. It had no place in where she wished to go. “I watched Spain fall by the wayside. I helped bring about Austria’s fall. I celebrated with Prussia – well, I guess technically Germany, but we all know who was pulling the strings – when he destroyed France and I cared for him when he was destroyed in turn.”

“Get to your point, please. I don’t have much time.” Russia tried for politeness but failed. He simply sounded exhausted with everything.

“Impatient? Doesn’t matter, I don’t have much else to say to you.” She leaned back in her chair, enjoying a refreshing sip of her wine. “It happens to each one of you who thinks he – why is it always a he? – who thinks he can bend the world to his will. It’s the way things work. You will fall and America will fall. That’s the beauty of it. Neither of you can last forever.” She sat up straight, a laugh breaking free. He had never heard her real laughter before. “But me? Oh, Ivan, but I’m forever.”

Hungary led him out. He turned to leave. “One last thing, real quick.” He stopped in his tracks, not bothering to face her. “I told this to Roderich after the divorce and I think it’s important for you to know it too. You are pathetic because you fear that which defies you, that which you cannot easily define into your world view. And so, you try to break it into conformity.” She licked her lips, savoring the moment. “Your first mistake was trying to break me. Your second mistake was thinking you could get away with it forever.”

His back stiffened. He never turned around, but she could imagine his expression. “Goodbye, Erzsébet. Good luck.”

“Keep your luck. I don’t need it.”


	13. The Emperoress

_Budapest, 2019._

Erzsébet gazed out at the skyline of her capital, watching the sun set, never more in love with life than she was now.

Independence had long been her heart’s one true desire. When she was a child, she loved how free she was to run through the forests barefoot, chasing down whoever she set her sights on and acting however she wished in a given moment. It was thrilling, it was a life she wanted to preserve for herself until the end of time.

And when that life was gone, how she felt its emptiness! What hollow existence one leads when their only option is to bow to the will of others. She did her best to always carve out moments of defiance and free-will, to delude herself with feelings of control to protect her sanity. But that’s what they always were, delusions. She could push back a little, but in the end, it always seemed her life was for others to decide, that she had somehow become a minor character within her own life story.

She smiled, chuckling softly at the memories as they bubbled up. “I could never give up though. That’s not in my nature.”

The dream lived within her heart and never left. Hungary would get her independence and, when she did, how mighty she celebrated. The culmination of centuries of struggles against various bullies with too high of an opinion for themselves. She could no longer be denied as a pawn to an important player’s machinations. She represented an important piece of the chessboard of European politics and she was ready to demand the respect that it entailed.

And demand she did. She had lived too long, had seen too much, to be treated as a doormat any longer. Hungary would force France to look her in the eyes at meetings, for Britain to speak to her as an equal and not a child, for Spain to accept her conditions on treaties as honest proposals and not minor inconveniences. She would raise hell to be heard and if no one wanted to listen then she would hinder their every move, prevent whatever it was they wished to get done and laugh in the face of their frustrations. She would not be taken advantage of any longer.

She sipped her wine, a small smile dancing upon her lips and pride swelling her bosom. Everything she wanted she now had. She rarely looked back on the past, it was a feeble exercise, because what did it have to offer her that was better than the present? Subjugation by Turkey, by Austria, by Russia? Why would she want to sink into memories where the only thing she could taste was her constant humiliation, where she could do nothing for herself except live to the next day?

Once you’ve begun thriving, the act of survival seems too hideous to have been treasured in the way it once was.

Erzsébet wanted to focus on the now and only the now. The now where her self-worth was recognized by herself and others. Where she could skip down the street, singing at the top of her lungs and no one could stop her. Where her heart could command her ‘go, be free’ and she wouldn’t hesitate to follow its orders.

A rap on the door. Gilbert stepped on the balcony with his lop-sided smile. “I was wondering where you were. Dinner’s on the table.”

She accepted his kiss on her cheek. “Did I keep you waiting?” She wouldn’t apologize if she did. Erzsébet enjoyed being the busy and important one too much now. “One second, I’ll meet you inside.”

She watched him leave, satisfaction bursting within her. She had everything she wanted and more. Hungary was certain of it, there could be no past more beautiful than her present. She closed her eyes, peace washing over her.

There was no reason to fight anymore.


End file.
